Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Flaming Guide

Saturday, February 18th, 2006

Fueling The Fire

Now, to get a proper flame going, you have to setup people. Normally this is done by approaching with a somewhat non imposing character and bluntly saying something you know will piss people off. Try and be subtle about it. Throw in things like religion, politics and choice of pet. Here are some examples:

  • Damn liberal
  • Damn chicken god lover
  • Damn cat lover

Notice these are pretty laid back. You could substitute a few key swear words as well, should you choose to. Also, try and kindle an old flame as well. Pull up something dirty out of the skeleton closet, and using some kind of excellent finesse, throw it into the conversation:

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Real Programmers

Friday, February 17th, 2006
  • Real Programmers don’t write specs – users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
  • Real Programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify.
  • Real Programmers use C since it’s the easiest language to spell.
  • Real Programmers have no use for managers. Managers are sometimes a necessary evil. Managers are good for dealing with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners and other mental defectives.
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